A fight starts outside a pub. “CUNT,” roars a man called Dave, and he nuts another man called Alan. When he does so, Alan’s head becomes soft, sticky and gooey, and Dave’s head comes stuck fast in a thick, gloopy, strawberry scented mess.
The police arrive, and attempt to drag the two apart. One policewoman accidentally gets her arm caught in Alan’s head stickiness and can’t move it out again. Another member of the police somehow gets his arse stuck in it. Alan’s head mass starts expanding and bits splat on the pavement. A gathering crowd and a cameraman from a cheap cable TV series step in the bits and also get stuck. The goopy stuff ends up going all over the place.
Fifty two people end up stuck there for a full eight months. They are fed by members of the public doing their bit for the community. Eventually they get freed when the rapture happens and Alan ascends to heaven.
I created a better one for you muslims:
This blew my mind when I did the math. The average greedy American capitalist pig spends $6,129 a year on food. There are roughly 700 thousand OTC derivative contracts, so if we donated the value of those contracts to charity, we’d collect $700 TRILLION DOLLARS!!!! 5.6 billion people on this planet live on less than $10 a day, meaning we could feed those people every day for almost two straight decades. #7300days
“This blew my mind when I did the math. The average American spends $6,129 a year on food. Well, Muslims fast for one month, so basically going without lunch for a month means we save $170.25 a year. There are roughly 4 million Muslims in the United States, so if we each donated that lunch money to charity, we’d collect $681 BILLION DOLLARS!!!! 5.6 billion people on this planet live on less than $10 a day, meaning during Ramadan we could feed those people every day for almost two straight weeks. #30days”
— Aman Ali (via faineemae)
Routinely starving your body of nutrients essential to your wellbeing and giving away your wealth so you can be part of a coordinated plan to corner the futures market, sending the prices for delivery contracts sky high and destroying the global economy in the process, just so you can
feed throw money at the impoverished for two weeks and never minding what happens to them or anybody else for that matter afterwards, or considering the potential and necessary costs of production, distribution and unsustainability.
Well the price for the 2013 Lunar Snake bulk-buy price has come through, and it’s pretty steep at $42.50 an oz.
My first thought was to reject this out of hand since that’s 60% above spot price, but then again those dragons last year sold for $65 an oz after it’s release price of $43.75.
I was going to try and sell some of the cheaper coins and banknotes I have on that site ‘Fiverr’ where you sell things for $5.
Then I read the terms and conditions which tells me they take 20%, and an additional 2% for Paypal. Then I’d have to pay $2.35 for postage on my end, leaving me with a measly $1.65 overall. Even if I tried to sell an Australian $1 coin for $5, I’d still only make $0.65 profit. Fuck that.
Continuing bad news for platinum production. Reports out today showing that 11 of South Africa’s platinum mines out of 26 are selling at a loss, with a further 4 ‘marginal at best’. 7 of the 11 mines operating at a loss belong to the World’s largest platinum miner.
This comes after the month-long strike at Modikwa mine, and it’s knock-on effects such as Platinum Australia being placed into administration due to ‘operational issues in South Africa’, and the sacking of over 17 thousand workers by the world’s second largest Platinum producer, Impala Platinum.
I passed the Law exam by some miracle!
“And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.” - Judges 1:19